Sex Reality

I touched myself to the thought of you.

I could feel you inside me, growing with each thrust.

I relish in the moment that has yet to exist.

Simply, in my mind, it is perfect.

Reality may ruin the greatest sex I have ever had.

Or perhaps.

Take me to a place that only lovers find.

When the universe and bodies intertwine exploding into galaxies.

And black holes that pull us apart.

Yet.

Draw us close.

Sex with you will be a drug overdose.

I welcome it.

I plan to die in this land of dreams and pleasure.

Repeating your name.

Forever.

And ever.

My Wetness is Your Wetness

You are the only girl I’ve ever wanted but I can’t fathom telling you how I feel.

Love is a strong word but it’s not just a verb.

It’s you and I holding hands in the dark

The feel of your lips upon mine.

I remember the softness and can’t imagine any lips that can take your place.

My wetness against your tongue touching my tongue is a sweetness that is irresistible

That night is on repeat and if it would have been meant to be we would be.

You were my first and only but you will never be my last.

Thank You and You’re Welcome

Thank you and you’re welcome he states with that goofy happy smile upon his face.

I slightly turn my head and give him that usual, you always have a way of surprising me and making me laugh look.

The sex was that good. 3 times in fact. Should of been 4 but sleep took affect.

It was the perfect start to the morning and I welcome it on a daily basis. It’s the first time I’ve ever been inclined to say: Sex in the morning, the best thank you, you’re welcome start of the day.

Love At the Doorstep

As Corrinne Bailey Rae “Trouble Sleeping” is playing, my fear comes bubbling to the top

She sings, ” I won’t say I’m falling in love”

Don’t tell me I’m falling in love.

I’m not myself.

But those three little words can not escape my lips.

Love is chasing me and I refuse to let it in.

I don’t want to fall in love though I’ve expressed on occasion that I do.

Love scares me because it becomes about us instead of I.

Selfishness is my best friend.

Sorry love but I just can’t let you in.

Even though I haven’t been myself because love is at my doorstep.

Punish Me

There’s a light at the end of this tunnel.

I run towards it inching closer and closer

But.

I am sent back to the beginning

Punished.

I welcome it. Punish me until I can’t take it any longer.

This isn’t supposed to be enjoyable but there is nothing I crave more.

It excites me and leaves me failing over and over again just to get a taste.

Punish me.

My saving grace.

Yet,Still.

He told me he wasn’t going anywhere.

I sadly believe him.

But.

He will break my heart.

Inevitably he always does.

Yet, still.

I long for that stay.

I Want to Fall in Love

I want to fall in love.
I know, I know.
You think I’m going about this the wrong way.
Falling is what we tell ourselves when we are not sure.
I am sure but falling is the best part.
That floating feeling.
That I look longingly into your eyes and I see the depths of our love
But I’m just kidding myself.
Falling in love is just an illusion.
Love runs deeper and intertwines until it is inconceivable to ever be apart.
I want to fall in love, yet I still shout!
The illusion, it cures all of those doubts that I’m doing this wrong.
The lullaby soothes. Nothing else will do.
I must fall in love to know it’s true.
I am afraid I can no longer be rescued.
Falling, the death of love.

Forever Last Night

There needs to be more than last night. How about in the morning?

Too many nights end with me sneaking out of this room again. Sighing. Inhale deep knowing this isn’t the way to the place of forever.

There is no sound of breakfast being made for two just sheets slightly ruffled where a body used to lay. Slightly warm though the time has passed to bring the fire back.

A cycle that I love too deeply to find that meaning. He doesn’t want that meaning found, especially not with him. Just another one night stand where touching is the end.

Passion playing a cruel joke upon us as we kiss. It has a deeper feel than most, maybe it’s the alcohol talking.

Or.

The meaning is searching, aching to come to light. One night stand that never should of happened. A kiss filled with regret. Though neither one of us is willing to admit. We don’t have to because our bodies say it all. The calling for each other. The awkwardness in our stare.

We were never meant to have a morning.

Forever last night.

Now You Got to Go

I used to feel like he was everything that I wanted. Only his smile could save my day.

I realized that was nice but now he has got to go.

I used to brighten his day and make him smile but those moments are long gone.

His touch was nice and his stroke was even better.

That kiss was unstoppable.

Sex was beyond remarkable.

Yet all I hear is the same question.

Talk soon?

As if that is a question that needs to be asked at every encounter.

This is the reason why you have got to go.

Drawing out moments and situations yet hesitating on making them everlasting.

So, that was nice but now you got to.

Still

When it is said and done I still

Believe in love even though it has hurt me

Crave a touch even though it caused my downfall

Want him because I want what I shouldn’t have

Blame others for the lack of communication when I’m the embarrassed one.

Leave it up to him when I’m the one who has to be in control

Fuck him to get back at the other him

Smile when I’m crying

Cry when I’m smiling

Focus on everything but the obstacle I sense ahead

Still

Until the moment

I can’t stand

Any longer.