I just got dumped two days before Christmas. Isn’t that lovely?
NaNoWriMo is finally upon us and it is getting real already. Day 3 in and I am already behind but I’m on my way to catching up. I’m also doing a blog post a day. Not really worried about the word count with that but this novel I’ve been talking about forever and it is about time I hunkered down to get’er done! I hope that those of you that are doing the challenge, comment and encourage me. I could surely use it and I will gladly do the same. Get to writing!
So there is just something about asking a person if they want to hang out and the first words they utter are, “Sure.” I immediately cringe and hate their existence for about 30 seconds. Sure is one of those words that has different meanings for different people. Some see it as a good word, a word that exemplifies excitement. “Sure! Of course, I would love to hang out with you!” There are those who see it as a definite affirmative of wanting or doing something, ” Yeah sure, we can totally hang out.” I on the other hand see it as a cop-out. When a person doesn’t want to do something, they pull out the trusty word sure to seal the deal. Sure is that word that is used only when someone does not want to be mean and say no but I know better. You will not use sure in my presence. You will not text it or email it or say it or hell even read it to me. There is a reason why yes and no exists. Use them as they are meant to be used. Do not bitch out and expect for me to not know that you do not really want to hang out with me or date me or have sex with me or sleep over or, or, or infinite things can be added here. I will correct you and not kindly either. Yes or no please and thank you. And yes, I said please and thank you, in which everyone knows, is the Southern gals way of saying do it
now or else. Really, am I asking for too much? Let me guess, “Sure.”
Miss Go Hulk Smash, my alter ego is my best friend but you never want to see her come out. I have a really bad temper and I hate when I’m brought to the point where I want to Hulk Smash! Writing when I see red is never good nor is my doing anything else. I get this calm feel but the look on my face says, “Bitch, try me one time and I will make it rain in this motherfucker!” I do not care how my anger makes you feel. You brought it upon yourself. In the words of the Hulk, “That’s my secret, I’m always angry.” Embrace that shit but sometimes you have to release it and go Hulk Smash on a bitch..
I’m starting my quest of participating in NaNoWriMo and I’m synopsizing my chapters but my brain seems to be on overload from trying to get everything to flow. I have to actively remind myself that it is a first draft, which is not about it being perfect, but getting it down on paper so to speak. My brain wants to take me on so many different directions and focusing has always been my problem but I am so close to accomplishing everything my heart could ever imagine. I am working harder now than I ever have before. I can not keep this flow from myself. I want you to celebrate with me. I know I sound overly excited but I honestly think about where I was last year in relation to now and tears start to form. So keep growing with me.
September 1st is finally upon us! My favorite month of the year for oh so many reasons. The leaves begin to change colors, colder weather, sweaters, and boots! The beginning of Fall is perhaps one of the most beautiful seasons if not the best. That perfect temperature between warm and cold and it just seems like everything comes together during the fall months.
(Yes, I know this post is late but I’m leaving it as is for many reasons.)
Though September is my favorite month, it does come with some downsides. Usually it is when life changing situations happen that hurt like hell or are so joyful you can not do anything but laugh,cry and smile. This 1st was good and not for any one reason in particular but maybe it was the end of August that made it so satisfying.
My last couple days of August had me realize I have the ability to make things happen when I least expect it to. More so, I have the ability to slightly predict the future when it comes to relationships. That one guy who found me when I was lonely and then promptly disappeared out of my life reappeared most unexpectedly. We ended up finishing what we started but not before we had a conversation about being with each other but promptly after the whistle blew I realized I don’t want to date this person. Ever. Not to sound mean but his being in my life is totally on a friend level, a very truthful and deep friendship. I can tell this guy anything and talk about things I would not with anyone else with ease and I never want to lose that. Unfortunately, he thinks I do want to be with him but that can be rectified later.
After this night, I attempted to do something I had not done in a long time and that is, The List. The dreaded list where we reminisce and scratch our heads, thinking, did I really? and Oh, what was I thinking? Or for some The List has gotten so long that it can and will never be accurate. My list is nothing to write home about but a list none the less. It seems I keep adding to it when I really just want it to end but I have never really been one to settle or have less than the best so I guess it will continue to grow until that point. (I believe my days of adding to the list are just about over to be honest.)
Another surprising thing that happened on the 1st was my boy got out of jail but I wasn’t as happy as I thought I would be nor has he talked to me since he got out. (I did talk to him weeks later and damn it! It made me realize I still am in love with him but him forgetting my birthday and not talking to him since has made me see the proverbial light. I don’t hate him, but hell, I don’t like him.)
Now September is almost over and the year is almost done. I’m surprised my September has ended the way it has. My birthday was a bust as usual. No big surprise there. Not particularly disappointed by it either. I’m really happy being single for once in my life because life is far less complicated when you are than when you are not. A lot of my goals are coming together and I expect for 2012 to be nothing but the best. Next time, I won’t take forever to write about my favorite month or write in general. It is only the beginning ,where as for some people, it is finally the end.