Writing What Is Me

Archive for the tag “fuck”

Fuck You Falling! Again!

I can honestly say this just might be a Halloween to remember. Not for any good reason, but because I put myself out there and then he tells me his fears. He’s not sure if he wants to be with one person. I mean that’s cool but if you don’t want to be with just one person, why in the hell would you agree to be someone’s boyfriend. And exclusive at that. I’m just unsure of how to handle this. The only thing I can do is withdraw completely. I’m not entirely emotionally invested but I was getting there. I mean, of course I have fears about the future and whether or not we should continue but I throw caution to the wind because I believe in “love”. I believe in doing things that scare you, that challenge you, that make you into a better person. However, I do have a tendency to be hasty about things because I am a in the moment type of person. I’m trying not to be that person today. I just need time. He obviously needs time. Fuck. I hate this. This is why I’m not a fan of fucking falling!

Fuck. I grew a conscience. At least, I tried.

If I choose anything, I choose happiness. I used to take sex and cash it, but, that just left me feeling empty and used. “Are you growing a conscience?” he asked. Laying in this bed we have made, well I have made, telling this stranger I choose happy. But Sex is my therapy. Happiness can only elude me but I choose it. I want it. I want it. My body won’t allow it. I can’t have nice things. It only wants dirty and who am I to deny my body of what it wants.

Fuck Me. Pay Me.

Prostitution runs through my veins, she told herself. The vice of choice for those before her. It made the decision easier with each passing day. “I get fucked on a regular basis. I might as well get paid for it.” 

Too Good for Last Night

Last night I fucked him again. Once again, I think never again. My friendship lines are blurred because we vowed to make the last time a one night stand. I was too good for last night where fucking and love intertwined. Yet, the love will never unwind from my mind. Fucking is now the twine that makes us crave each others attention. Friendship lines are on hold because the only thing left is where the sex unfolds.

Fuck Your Wife

All I had to do was whisper, “You can fuck me in ways you could never fuck your wife.” That spark in his eyes told me he agreed but not like the rise of his dick.

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