I think I just told him I love him.
The blindfold adds an element I never knew it could. But I know without sight or sound, the thought of me turns him on. His naked body calls to me with his dick standing at attention. I can feel his lips against my skin even being miles apart. Let the fantasy begin.
Thank you and you’re welcome he states with that goofy happy smile upon his face.
I slightly turn my head and give him that usual, you always have a way of surprising me and making me laugh look.
The sex was that good. 3 times in fact. Should of been 4 but sleep took affect.
It was the perfect start to the morning and I welcome it on a daily basis. It’s the first time I’ve ever been inclined to say: Sex in the morning, the best thank you, you’re welcome start of the day.
As Corrinne Bailey Rae “Trouble Sleeping” is playing, my fear comes bubbling to the top
She sings, ” I won’t say I’m falling in love”
Don’t tell me I’m falling in love.
I’m not myself.
But those three little words can not escape my lips.
Love is chasing me and I refuse to let it in.
I don’t want to fall in love though I’ve expressed on occasion that I do.
Love scares me because it becomes about us instead of I.
Selfishness is my best friend.
Sorry love but I just can’t let you in.
Even though I haven’t been myself because love is at my doorstep.
There’s a light at the end of this tunnel.
I run towards it inching closer and closer
I am sent back to the beginning
I welcome it. Punish me until I can’t take it any longer.
This isn’t supposed to be enjoyable but there is nothing I crave more.
It excites me and leaves me failing over and over again just to get a taste.
My saving grace.
I want to fall in love.
I know, I know.
You think I’m going about this the wrong way.
Falling is what we tell ourselves when we are not sure.
I am sure but falling is the best part.
That floating feeling.
That I look longingly into your eyes and I see the depths of our love
But I’m just kidding myself.
Falling in love is just an illusion.
Love runs deeper and intertwines until it is inconceivable to ever be apart.
I want to fall in love, yet I still shout!
The illusion, it cures all of those doubts that I’m doing this wrong.
The lullaby soothes. Nothing else will do.
I must fall in love to know it’s true.
I am afraid I can no longer be rescued.
Falling, the death of love.
I’ll get back to the sex soon enough but for now, you must go without. Call it a sexcation if you will. Not because I do not want to sex but just that time does not allow. My dreams are calling.
I love how when I sit down to write, I’m so tired and my brain just feels like mush. I sigh as my fingers hover above the keyboard, looking to start. I focus and let my fingers start hitting the keys and it ‘s like a wave. I start to type faster and faster as the story finds me. I’m invigorated! It’s my like my own personal drug to have this give me life more than any pill can. My characters call to me and I have to tell their story right. There is no other option. I must finish what I have started. Finally, I am on my way.
I’ve fallen completely behind with NaNoWriMo but I am determined to catch up. Catching up consists of writing about 15,000 words this weekend. I think it’s doable. I would prefer to not do that but I decided to be social and have fallen off the wagon. Hard. I need writing motivation people! The fatigue is setting in and I’m not sure I can get past it. Not to mention I’m being hormonal and emotional which is getting in the way of my being productive because I just get angry instead of being rational. Blah! Anywho, here is to getting back in track with the writing on my blog and working on the novel everyday. Until next time.